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Buncha Blonde JOKES!!?

Mar 24, 2009 by ♥Mandi♥ Categorized Under: Jokes & Riddles

JSYK ... I have nothing against BLONDE =]

Obeahism Mirror ----- ------ -------
There was this bar and the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie he would be in. You Suck

One day a brunette, entered the bar. She went to the representation and said: "I think I am the most beautiful woman in the world" and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead went into the bar. She went to the rehearsal and said: "I think I am the most beautiful woman in the world" and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond hair entered the bar.She walked to the mirror and said: "I think ..." and he sucked in.

------- --- --------- Football Game

A guy decides to wear his new blonde girlfriend to a soccer meet. After the match is finished, he asked if she liked the game.

She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching the men in suits restrictive, but there is one thing I do not understand.

"What you do not understand?"

And the blonde said: "Well, the begginning of the objective of concealing the two teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick first.Then the rest of the game, everyone was screaming get the quarterback, get the station back, get the quarterback. Then I thought, gosh it's just a quarter!

------ ---------- All
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator stops instantly and the lights go out. They try to use their cell phone to get help, but have no chance. Even the phones are out.

After several hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the other: "I think the best way to call for help is crying together."

The others admit with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."

-----nasa--------
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were bothersome out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a point.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"
Having thought about it, she replied: "I want to go to Mars because it seems so amazing with all the recent news about alien life on planet."
They said "Okay, well, because of you." And he said they would return to her.
Then, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I want to go to Saturn to see all his rings. Again," thank you "and they return to it.
Finally, the blond walked into the office and they asked him the same question, they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought a moment and replied: "I want to go in the sun."
The people from NASA replied, "why not informed that if you go in the sun burns you to death?"
The blond grinned and put his hands on his hips. "Are you guys dull? I would go at night!"

---- Do --- --- --- --- hear about the blonde who ...---- --- ----

Could not learn to water ski because she could not find a lake with a pitch.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

Can not call 911 because there was no 11 on any key on the phone.

When asked what the big letter from California was, answered "C".

A turkey in the oven for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per fight and she weighed 125.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

Those who are happy. I have not heard some of those before. The latter took me by surprise. I was not expecting that. It was really incredible.

Halloween jokes?

Oct 29, 2007 by not singing the yahoo tune Categorized Under: Jokes & Riddles

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Most of these Halloween jokes are bona fide groaners (get it, Halloween.... GROANERS hahahaha hehehe uhhh yeah) anyway...

Q. Why was the student vampire all in in the morning?
A. Because he was up all night studying for his blood test!!!

Q. Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of drain a day?
A. It's good for the bones.

Q. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
A. They're afraid of flying off the feel!

Q. Why don't skeletons like parties?
A. They have no body to dance with.

Q. Why do mummies make excellent spies?
A. They're textile at keeping things under wraps.

Q. Why do vampires drink blood?
A. Because coffee keeps them awake all day!

Q. Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?
A. Because he's a tribulation in the neck!

Q. Why did the mummy call the doctor?
A. Because he was coffin.

Q. Why did the ghost go to the doctor?
A. To get his boo-ster shot?

Q. Why are there fences around cemeteries?
A. Because people are going to get in.

Q. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. Where does Dracula water ski?
A. On Lake Erie

Q. Where does Bank on Dracula make his withdrawals?
A. At the blood bank.

Q. When does a ghost need a license?
A. During "haunting" opportunity ripe.

Q. What's a haunted chicken?
A. A poultry-geist.

Q. What was the witches' favorite subject in school?
A. Spelling

Q. What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A. A late ringer.

Q. What do little ghosts drink?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. What type of coffee do vampires favour?
A. Decoffinated!

Q. What time would it be if five demons were chasing you?
A. Five after one.

Q. What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
A. Boo boos

Q. What do ghosts suitable for dessert?
A. Ice Scream

Q. What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?
A. A blood vessel

Q. How did the ghost segment his sheet?
A. With a pumpkin patch.

Q. What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A. Don't spook until your spooken to.

Q. What did the Mommy Vampire say to the Coddle Vampire?
A. "You are driving me batty."

Q. What did the monster eat after the dentist pulled his tooth?
A. The dentist!

Q. What do ghouls out of whack at McMonsters?
A. Handburgers.

Q. What do spooks call their Navy?
A. The ghost guard.

Q. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
A. Squash

Q. Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
A. Because people are fading fast to get in.

Q. Why do witches think they're funny?
A. Every time they look in the mirror, it cracks up.

Q. Why did the tiny ghost unify the football squad?
A. He had heard that they needed a little team spirit !

Q. Why don't skeletons like to eat savoury food?
A. They can't stomach it!

so passable.lol

Conditioning & Fitness

17.09.09